A Very Merry Christmas

Hello again, folks!

I hope everyone’s Christmas was as merry as mine was. We had a grand ol’ time visiting with loved ones and exchanging gifts. I was the lucky recipient of a big, beautiful poinsettia. To keep it looking lush and lovely, I’m going to feed it my Holiday Houseplant Tonic: 1/4 cup of beer, 1/2 tbsp. of unflavored gelatin powder, 1/2 tbsp. of fish emulsion, 1/2 tbsp. of vitamin B1 plant starter, 1/2 tbsp. of ammonia, 1/2 tbsp. of instant tea granules, and 1 gallon of water. Using this mix every time I water will help my poinsettia stay bright and cheery long after the season is over.

Once the gifts were exchanged, it was time to gather ‘round the table for a delicious feast. But as my wife was reaching for the mashed potatoes, she knocked over her glass of red wine—right onto the new tablecloth! We quickly dabbed up as much as we could, then moistened the spot with water and sprinkled some salt over it. After dinner, we popped the tablecloth into the wash, and it came out clean as good as new.

Speaking of festivities, New Year’s Eve is right around the corner. If you’ll be attending any parties that night, here’s a tip to keep handy: If you imbibe a little too much and wake up with the morning-after blahs, take 1 teaspoon of honey every hour until you feel better. It works like a charm!