Happy Turkey Day!

Hi again, everyone!

Thanksgiving is only a few days away, and we’re in the midst of preparations. But no matter how busy I get with holiday plans, I always make sure to get a little “outdoor chore” time in. Last weekend was time for the final installment of my fall lawn feeding program. I mixed 1/2 can of beer, 1/2 cup of apple juice, 1/2 cup of Gatorade®, 1/2 cup of urine, 1/2 cup of fish emulsion, 1/2 cup of ammonia, 1/2 cup of regular cola, and 1/2 cup of baby shampoo in a large bucket, poured it into a 20 gallon hose-end sprayer, and gave my lawn a good, healthy dose.

Shirley and I then went grocery shopping. Buying all that food got me to thinking: Every year, I eat so much that I end up lying awake at night with an upset stomach. So I stopped by our local health food store and stocked up on what I needed to make my famous Tummy Tamer Tea. To make it, steep 1/2 teaspoon each of dried peppermint, catnip, sweet marjoram, and lemon balm in a cup of boiling water for 15 minutes. Then strain, sip, and soon you’ll be sleeping like a baby!

And that’s not all—we’re going to simmer a little potpourri to make the house smell festive and spicy. Simply mix the shaved rind of one orange, 5 cinnamon sticks, and 1/4 cup of whole cloves in a pot of boiling water, and let it simmer for a while before guests start to arrive. It’s gonna smell so nice that nobody’ll want to leave! Happy Turkey Day to you and yours!